Car seats aren't magical devices that will keep a baby or child safe no matter how they are buckled. Their safety is directly related to how accurately we arrange and tighten the straps and buckles.
If you find that you've been doing it wrong, don't feel badly. It took me one and a half babies before I realized how many mistakes I was making. The more we know the better we do. I've found, particularly in this regard, I much prefer to swallow my pride and learn the right way than assume things will be fine. Learning the hard way that things aren't "fine" when it comes to car seats can be quite catastrophic.
What I think most expecting parents don't know (from my own experience and comments from an unofficial survey of first-time expecting parents when we were on our most recent hospital tour) is that the hospital does not teach you how to use your car seat. They won't let you leave without one but they cannot show you how to install the base or safely buckle your newborn into it. Of course, this is for liability reasons. In fact, one nurse tried to correct how I had buckled one of my babies and ended up giving me entirely backwards information. We would have all been better off if she hadn't offered any instruction.
If you want to be certain you've got it right take your car, an 18-20 inch tall baby doll if your baby has yet to arrive, and your car seat to your local car seat inspector (usually the police or fire department will have a few officers who have gone through extensive training) and have them show you the ropes. At the very least follow the basics below.
There are a lot more points about car seat safety, but for the sake of brevity I'm going to stick with the most common mistakes.
The safest place for a baby is rear facing in the center, back seat of your vehicle for a minimum of the first TWO years of his/her life**. Read your carseat's manual to account for variances in placement. You need the seat (or the base if it's an infant carrier) to be properly leveled and very very snug. At the base where the carseat meets the bottom and back of the car's seat there should be less than one inch of wiggle room. The snugger the better! This should be checked very regularly as the straps can loosen up over time.
**Yes, TWO years. While not all states have adopted it to law, the national recommendation is no longer 1 year and 20 lbs because too many babies were being critically and fatally injured in crashes when forward facing. Rear facing is the safest way for children to ride in the car and they should stay rear facing for as long as possible. Some children are still able to rear face as four year olds. I know that their legs can look uncomfortable and some children are grumpy about not being able to see much, but in a crash the difference could be that of a sore/broken leg and a broken neck.
Buckle height is perhaps the most common mistake I see. Simply buckling the seat is not enough to keep your baby safe.
First get the shoulder straps properly adjusted: for rear facing babies that is at or below the height of the shoulders. Forward facings is at or above.
The buckle of a 5-point harness belongs at arm pit height, also sometimes referred to as nipple height. Not mid-rib cage, diaphragm, or waist height. Every centimeter below arm pit height the buckle is, your car seat gets less safe. With the buckle at waist height your child can be ejected from their car seat in the event of a crash! Put your baby in his/her seat and fasten the buckles then slide the buckle all the way up to arm pit height.
WAY WAY WAY too low
**STILL** too low! (I know, perhaps surprising but true nonetheless)
This is the right height! The sides of the buckle are pointing right at his armpit and is centered over nipple-height. However, it's still too loose - keep on reading...
Once you have the buckles in the right spot you can check the next thing, Strap Tension. Try to pinch the strap at your baby's shoulder.
(Sorry my pictures are wonky sizes, my editing software was freezing my computer so I circumvented)
On the left you can see there was enough slack to get a pinch of strap, that's too loose. Even though it looked decently tight, when we give it the pinch test we know better. On the right you see the strap is snug enough that I cannot pinch the strap (without also pinching the baby)
Car seat straps need to be snug. You should not be able to get a pinch of the strap. If you can get a grasp on the strap, tighten them! If the straps are loose your baby will endure the violent forces of a crash as their body is thrown against the straps. Alternately, with snug straps your baby's body is held to their car seat and moves with the forces of the crash. This minimizes the amount of damage to their bodies.
You want your baby to become one with the car seat. They should not be able to lean over for toys or fall forward/sideways when they fall asleep. If they move independently from the car seat in a crash they are far more likely to be injured.
Here he is! Snug and safe ... go ahead and ignore those pretzel crumbs on the ground, s'il vous plait
Nothing should go between your baby and their carseat beside a couple thin layers of clothing. No winter jackets, snow suits, or bundlers. No cushy strap covers or extra head rests. Car seats are tested for safety as they are sold - extra fabric can compress in a crash and leave too much wiggle room in the straps. The more the wiggle room the more harm that can be done to the baby in a crash. You can put winter coats back on backwards over the buckles - now your children are safe *and* warm. I find that heating up the car for a few minutes in the winter makes this much more pleasant in the Chicago winters.
If you want to know if your child's cold weather wear is thin enough, sit them in their seat and check the straps so that they are properly snug with the buckle at the proper height, now take them out of the seat and put their warm layers on. Try to buckle them back in. If you can secure them and get the buckle back to arm pit height without loosening the straps then you are good to go! If you're curious you can reverse this process and see just how much slack the straps would have in the event of a crash.
Here is Baby warm against but angry at the impending Chicago winter. Buckle is at the right height, I can't pinch the should strap at all.
I took off the snow suit and rebuckled without changing the tension at all and you can see how much room there actually was! In a crash, his body would be shaken around as if the straps were virtually this loose (the snow suit cannot compress to nothing, but it would compress a lot)
When I first learned about the no-coats recommendation I did this and was *stunned!* it seems so simple and logical once you know about it but I had never thought of it (until half-way through my middle child's second winter). The coats back-and-forth is an extra step to get all of us on the road but I think it's very worth it. (insert "The More You Know" shooting star and riff here)
If you want to research further (and I recommend you do, this only really covers buckling properly), The Car Seat Lady has some excellent videos on the subject and also goes into more depth on the dangers I've touched on here. She also fleshes out the type of seats available and which children they are best for. So scoot on over there - I highly recommend her information
These are all small thing that can be life saving measures - happy buckling!
****Standard disclaimers as outlined in my first post apply. I am not the boss of you, nor am I equipped to dictate what is best for your particular child. The information I share is not judgement or report card. Your baby, your life, your choice.****
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